Updated: Mar 11
When I met JJ, he was 2. This cute little kid, full of life and love and the best bit, I got to be his Rachael. Not his stepmum and all the responsibility that came along with living with him and sharing his day to day but the fun one that visited with him and his dad at their home. We had our things, craft, baking and singing. We got to be silly and cheeky and would laugh and laugh and laugh. The responsibility part came later and sometimes I wonder if he got the best of me, if not the most rested, creative me. Back then, I had no issue pulling out the glitter and letting it attach itself to every inch of the house that was not mine.
BamBam is 2 now and it's hard not to compare JJ and him and the relationship between us. I guess the difference is, that as BamBam's mother I get to do all the boring stuff too. I change the nappies, do the toilet training, I get up night after night. I handle the tantrums (sometimes daily), the mess and it is my job (along with his dad) to teach him how to handle the emotions and chaos that #blendedfamilylife brings. He and little Bee get the sleep deprived, grumpy version, but they also get the day to day with both parents, something JJ never experienced.
Sometimes I wonder, if the stress of this life has made me too serious. I know it has changed me, my view on what is a normal family and what is not. Those rosey glasses were whipped off and I guess now, I know more of what is going on behind the curtains between the Co-parents then I did back then and the knowledge takes its toll. The demands of a family of five is greater then being the girlfriend of a single father, life is busier as it should be and I wouldn't change that for the wword. I love being part of the ins and outs of their daily lives. To hear the best parts and the worst, to kiss the boo boos better and just be there when they need me to be. Oh yes, and my calendar definitely helps me keep on top of things 😉.
Am I still "his Rachael" now that he is 10 going on 35, about to enter high school and knows everything? I hope so.